What Does the Bible Say About Forgiveness?

Few words in the Bible are as beautiful, or as hard, as forgiveness. We love to hear that God forgives us. We find it much harder when the same Bible turns to us and says, "Now forgive them."

Perhaps you are carrying a wound right now. You may want to forgive but not know how, or fear that forgiving means pretending it didn't matter.

This devotional walks through what Scripture actually says about forgiveness: first God's forgiveness of us, then our call to forgive others, and finally what forgiveness is and is not. At the end you'll find a simple, prayerful way to begin.

Forgiveness begins with God

Before the Bible ever asks us to forgive, it shows us a God who forgives. Everything else flows from here.

If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
1 John 1:9 (KJV)

Notice two words in this verse: faithful and just. We might expect John to say God is "kind" or "merciful" to forgive. He is, of course. But John says God is just to forgive, because the debt of our sin has already been paid by Jesus on the cross. When we confess, God is not bending the rules. He is keeping His promise.

And His forgiveness is complete:

As far as the east is from the west, so far hath he removed our transgressions from us.
Psalm 103:12 (KJV)

Travel north long enough and you begin heading south, but east and west never meet. David chose a picture with no meeting point. When God forgives, He does not keep the record in a drawer to bring out later.

What the word "forgive" means

In the New Testament, the Greek word most often translated "forgive" is aphiēmi. According to the Blue Letter Bible lexicon, its range of meaning includes "to send away," "to let go," and "to let go, give up a debt, forgive, to remit."

To forgive is to release a debt. Someone truly owes you, and you stop demanding payment, not because it was small, but because you are handing it to God.

Forgiven people forgive

Once the Bible has shown us God's mercy, it turns to how we treat each other. Paul makes the connection directly:

And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.
Ephesians 4:32 (KJV)

Forbearing one another, and forgiving one another, if any man have a quarrel against any: even as Christ forgave you, so also do ye.
Colossians 3:13 (KJV)

Both verses share the same small but mighty phrase: "even as." We forgive as we have been forgiven. Our forgiveness of others is not the price we pay to earn God's forgiveness. It is the overflow of a heart that has already received it.

Colossians 3:13 is also honest: "if any man have a quarrel against any" assumes real grievances. The Bible does not pretend the hurt isn't there.

This is part of what it means to live close to Jesus. As we abide in Christ, His life slowly grows in us, and forgiveness is one of the clearest signs of that life. It sits naturally alongside the love, gentleness and longsuffering Paul describes as the fruit of the Spirit.

Forgiveness in the Lord's Prayer

When Jesus taught His disciples to pray, He placed forgiveness right in the middle of it:

And forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors.
Matthew 6:12 (KJV)

Then, immediately after the prayer ends, He returns to this one line and explains it:

For if ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you:

But if ye forgive not men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses.
Matthew 6:14–15 (KJV)

These are sobering words, and they need to be read carefully. Jesus is not saying that we earn salvation by forgiving others. The whole Bible is clear that forgiveness is a gift of grace. What He is saying is that a heart which has truly received mercy cannot stay permanently closed to others. A settled, stubborn refusal to forgive is a warning sign that we have not really understood how much we ourselves have been forgiven.

If you want to pray the Lord's Prayer more slowly and personally, our guide on how to pray when you don't know what to say walks through it line by line.

Seventy times seven: the unforgiving servant

Peter once came to Jesus with a question many of us have asked:

Then came Peter to him, and said, Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times?

Jesus saith unto him, I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven.
Matthew 18:21–22 (KJV)

Peter probably thought seven times was generous. Jesus' answer is not a new limit of 490. The commentator Matthew Henry described it as "a certain number for an indefinite one, but a great one" (Matthew Henry on Matthew 18). In other words: stop counting.

Then Jesus told a story to show why.

A king was settling accounts, and a servant was brought to him "which owed him ten thousand talents" (Matthew 18:24). That was an enormous, unpayable sum. The servant begged for time, and something astonishing happened:

Then the lord of that servant was moved with compassion, and loosed him, and forgave him the debt.
Matthew 18:27 (KJV)

But the same servant went out and found a fellow servant "which owed him an hundred pence" (Matthew 18:28), a tiny amount by comparison. He seized him, refused to listen to his plea, and had him thrown into prison. When the king heard, he called the first servant back:

Then his lord, after that he had called him, said unto him, O thou wicked servant, I forgave thee all that debt, because thou desiredst me:

Shouldest not thou also have had compassion on thy fellowservant, even as I had pity on thee?
Matthew 18:32–33 (KJV)

Jesus ended the parable with this:

So likewise shall my heavenly Father do also unto you, if ye from your hearts forgive not every one his brother their trespasses.
Matthew 18:35 (KJV)

The point of the story is the gap between the two debts. What others owe us can be real and painful. But it is small beside what we owed God and what He has freely cancelled. Notice too the phrase "from your hearts." Jesus is not asking for a polite form of words. He is asking for a real release, worked out in the heart over time.

Jesus forgave from the cross

Jesus never asked us to do something He had not done Himself. As He was being crucified, He prayed:

Then said Jesus, Father, forgive them; for they know not what they do. And they parted his raiment, and cast lots.
Luke 23:34 (KJV)

Even as He spoke, the soldiers were dividing His clothes. Nobody had apologised. Yet Jesus brought those who wronged Him to the Father in prayer.

This shows us something important: forgiveness can begin as prayer. Before you are able to say "I forgive you" to anyone, you can say "Father, forgive them" to God.

What forgiveness is not

This is where many believers get stuck, so it is worth being very clear. Biblical forgiveness is costly, but it is not unwise or unsafe.

Forgiveness is not excusing sin. When you forgive, you are not saying, "It was fine." You are saying, "It was wrong, and I am releasing my claim to repayment." You can only forgive something you admit was a real wrong.

Forgiveness is not pretending. You do not have to act as if you were not hurt. The psalms are full of honest lament. God would rather hear your real pain than a brave face.

Forgiveness is not the same as reconciliation. Forgiveness happens in your heart before God, and it can happen even if the other person never apologises. Reconciliation, the restoring of a relationship, takes two people, and it usually requires honesty, repentance and changed behaviour from the one who caused the harm.

Forgiveness does not mean trust is restored immediately. Forgiveness is given; trust is rebuilt. It is wise, not unloving, to let trust grow slowly as someone shows they have changed.

Forgiveness never means staying in danger. If someone is harming you, or threatening you or anyone in your care, forgiving them does not mean you must stay, keep quiet or put yourself at risk. If you are in immediate danger, call your local emergency number. Then talk to trusted people, such as a pastor, a counsellor or a close friend, and report abuse to the appropriate authorities. Protecting yourself and others is not a failure to forgive.

Leaving justice with God

One of the most freeing verses on this subject is this:

Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.
Romans 12:19 (KJV)

Forgiveness does not say justice doesn't matter. It says, "God, I am handing this to You. You see it all, and You will judge rightly." That is why forgiveness and seeking proper justice through rightful authorities are not enemies. What we give up is personal revenge, not truth. Just before this, Paul adds an honest condition: "If it be possible, as much as lieth in you, live peaceably with all men" (Romans 12:18). Peace does not depend on you alone.

How to forgive someone who hurt you: a prayerful path

Forgiveness is rarely a single moment. For deep wounds it is often a choice made once and then made again, each time the memory returns. Here is a simple way to begin, with God.

Start with God's forgiveness of you. Read 1 John 1:9 and Psalm 103:12 slowly. Thank God for what He has forgiven in your own life. It is far easier to release a debt when you remember how much you have been released from.
Tell God the truth about what happened. In prayer, name the hurt honestly. You do not need to soften it. Say what was done and how it affected you.
Name the debt. What do you feel they owe you? An apology, an explanation, your reputation, lost time? Writing it down can help.
Release the debt to God. Pray something like: "Lord, I choose to let go of what they owe me. I give my right to repay them to You." This is a decision of the will, even if your feelings lag behind.
Pray for them. Follow Jesus' example in Luke 23:34. You may start with very few words: "Father, forgive them." Over time, you may find yourself able to pray for their good.
Set wise boundaries. Ask God for wisdom about the relationship. Forgiveness may lead to reconciliation, or it may mean keeping a careful, safe distance. Seek counsel from someone you trust.
Repeat when the hurt returns. When the memory comes back, and it will, you have not failed. Simply bring it to God again: "Lord, I forgave this. Help me keep releasing it."

This week, try praying through these steps once, perhaps on a quiet morning. Then choose one verse from this page, such as Ephesians 4:32, write it on a card and pray it each day.

Frequently asked questions

What does the Bible say about forgiveness?

The Bible teaches that God forgives everyone who confesses their sin and trusts in Christ (1 John 1:9), and that His forgiveness is complete (Psalm 103:12). Because we have been forgiven, we are called to forgive others "even as Christ forgave you" (Colossians 3:13).

How do I forgive someone who hurt me, according to the Bible?

Begin by remembering God's forgiveness of you, then bring the hurt honestly to God in prayer. Choose to release the debt and leave justice with Him (Romans 12:19), and pray for the person as Jesus did in Luke 23:34. Expect to repeat this choice whenever the pain returns.

What is the difference between forgiveness and reconciliation?

Forgiveness is releasing the debt in your own heart before God, and it can happen even if the other person never apologises. Reconciliation is the restoring of a relationship, and it depends on both people, usually including genuine repentance and rebuilt trust. You can forgive someone without returning to the same relationship.

Does forgiving someone mean I have to trust them again?

No. Forgiveness is given freely, but trust is earned over time through changed behaviour. It is wise to rebuild trust slowly, and if someone is harmful or unsafe, forgiving them never requires you to stay in danger. Seek safety and help from trusted people and the appropriate authorities.

What does seventy times seven mean?

In Matthew 18:22, Jesus told Peter to forgive "Until seventy times seven." He was not setting a limit of 490 but teaching that forgiveness should not be counted or rationed. The parable that follows shows why: we have been forgiven an unpayable debt by God.

Will God not forgive me if I struggle to forgive others?

Matthew 6:14–15 is a serious warning against a hardened, settled refusal to forgive, not a threat against those who are struggling. If you want to forgive but find it hard, that desire is itself a sign of God's work in you. Keep bringing the hurt to Him and ask for His help.